Me? Vegan? You’re kidding Right?!

the guy with the vegan kebab :)

the guy in the loud shirt

Food, it’s all about food.

My father taught me as a child; one of those 70’s kids, back in the day when it was cool to be hip, it was o.k. to go to folk camps and wear kipper ties. He was a petro-chem. specialist working for Monsanto; not very hippy. These days he seems to have forgotten, but I have remembered. He taught me what to eat and what to stay away from, he taught me about chicken farming sheds in the States, one mile long. He had seen them and had understood what was to come. It was all about good food and growing your own, even back then. Now over the years I have worked for some of the best chefs in London and Niki Bayard knows good food. But somewhere along the line, I got all enticed by Sainsbury’s and Waitrose and these days it seems Asda is all the rage. My seven years of student induced vegetarianism was long forgotten, until recently. There was I merrily chucking all those delicious Sunday roasts down my neck and regularly tucking into bowls of Dolmio’s best whilst growing increasingly concerned about my skin. Eczema, Psoriasis, Rosacea seems to be the latest possibility and do the doctors know anything about anything, do they really think that sending people away with tube after tube of steroid injected poison is really a solution to anything when day by day one’s skin is falling off one’s body?!

I’ve ignored this for years, hoping that it would go away, I’ve tried multifarious smotherants, but by this point things had got so bad, I finally had to do something drastic. What is that saying? Something about ‘what you put in, you get out’, as you sow so you shall reap. Well that’s what I did… finally working on the basic supposition that I was suffering from psoriasis, blimey, I didn’t even know how to spell it until a month ago… I got on the internet. I started looking at all the alternative sites that addressed the problem and I decided to self-heal through mother nature’s medicine cabinet. Radical, dramatic, strict, I’m taking no prisoners, this body has to be cleared out.
So following the general guide lines, Miss egg-and-bacon-butty-I-love-roast-potatoes-and-lamb-is-my-favourite, is now a vegan. A Vegan? What? Who? Me? No way, never, what all that lentils and soya malarky, organic-is-too-expensive-jargon. Yes, me, a vegan. It took a month, not even, just one week really, no more sugar or alcohol, no animal proteins, no cheese, no meat, no nightshades i.e. potatoes, tomatoes, egg-plant, peppers. The change in my diet is radical, the healing of my skin no less so. For the first time in years I am no longer dreading that moment when I have to plaster layers of chemical nonsense on my face to prepare to face the world. I’ve worked front of house for years, I am that first point of contact person and skin problems are tedious, especially when they cannot be hidden.

Now I am not saying that this is going to work for everybody and I don’t mean to suggest for a moment that this is a solution for all skin problem sufferers. But what I am saying, is that skin is an organ… rub anything into your hands and the osmosis begins… whatever it is, is headed straight for your blood stream and that’s before we even think about what ingredients we consume.
So there I was last week, starving hungry, 1p.m. wandering around in an open food market in Brighton, you name it, meat city, most already sold out! Growing increasingly glum I was directed to the stalls at the end, you know, the vege. bit, where even in Brighton the trade was quite slow. So here am I, can’t eat this, can’t eat that… then with the turquoise awning I stumbled on Beelzebab! Oh! How I laughed, a wot? A vegan kebab stall?! Wow, amazing even the tzatziki is delicious and no, I didn’t know that I can get vegan mayo, by now, I hadn’t had any creamy stuff for a month :(.
They tell me that there is a VegeFest March 28th/29th. I’ll be there!

At first it was a nightmare, but those wiser than I have pointed me in the right direction. Anyone tried the Booja-Booja dairy free ice-cream, forget Walls and Hagen Das, this stuff tastes like gold on a spoon (yeah, alright, costs like that too)! I had no idea that the world had come so far, what you mean that vegan stuff actually tastes better than that which M&S peddles?! Yes, seriously, try it sometime, you might be surprised! 😉

Finally, the pescatarian bit. I do kinda know that fish really should be part of my diet. Although I’ve always shied away from that one eye on a plate. A cow just don’t look like a steak, I can disassociate. Oh and that smell, that nasty not just out of the ocean stench at the fishmongers and the risk of food poisoning. Whilst I know that the vegans and vegetarians will be appalled, the other crew tell me that I need it. So I guess it will be back to Waitrose, back to Kenny’s, coz I know his “feeds are certified free from GMOs, terrestrial animal components and growth promoters and subject to strict quality controls. No disinfectants, medicines or antibiotics are used in the production of Anglesey Sea Bass”.
See? It’s a consideration. 🙂