When in need of new friends….
call an old one!
I don’t know if anyone has come across this sort of love before?
But I can tell you that it is one of the best sorts of love 🙂
Having recently moved to a brand new city and not really knowing many people yet, I decided to call an old buddy that I needed to check in with. Turns out that she used to live in Brighton herself… how had I missed out on that bit?
No longer was I being bombarded with all the well meaning suggestions that I check in at the Friends Meeting House, or join the Ramblers Association; no more do I need to loiter alone around all the coffee shops and bars, hoping that some poor local will take pity on me (ok, that bit is not entirely true)! Oh no! I have been presented with a long list of ideal playmates from which I am invited to choose at leisure and request contact details, now that’s love (and trust!).
Don’t get me wrong, don’t think that I haven’t already signed up for an old buddy’s Tuesday card night (hey, I can learn!), found the local cool agency and checked out their regular film night, trawled the web for popular speak nights and booked tickets for live venue nights out… I have. But it’s just not enough! ALL my old friends are so busy catching up with coursework and finishing off those last minute deadlines (yeah, Niki-no-mates!) that I am having to engage with the community at large 🙂
So new friend No.1 date popped in the diary… I finally managed to turn up only half an hour late… was she screaming and shouting? demanding that I contact our mutual buddy and reporting my poor attendance rate, no, not a bit of it… she politely answered the door and when we finally clapped eyes on eachother we just stood there staring. Now here’s a funny thing! Have you ever looking into the eyes of the old friend of an old friend, I mean really looked? Struck at first by the extraordinary similarity and familiarity and asked yourself if we had met before and if not why not?! How can it possibly be that such an old friend had managed to hide such a good friend for so many years?! So mug of tea in hand we headed out into the garden, like long lost sisters. It took at least an hour before finally the two of us lulled into an exquisite silence, a perfect peace, a tranquility unsurpassed.
Yep, that was it, it took little more than an hour to cement in stone what I am sure will be a supportive, generous, prosperous and new friendship 🙂
I laughed and broke that perfect unity, we had so many understandings, so much common ground and really how could it be any other way? Two best friends of a best friend, the generosity and consideration present of the absent middle woman, how could the day have failed?!
The thing is, now that I’ve had the opportunity to sleep on it… I realise that the more that we sat together, the more that I realised I liked her. She’s not like any of my other friends down here. They are always busy, always have commitments, always running around from pillar to post, frantic. She is calm, like me. Like me, she has moved down from London, so she knows how life can be. How life can run away with you if you let it, cramming one’s schedule with things to do. It just passes you by. We need to stop, to rest to ponder. To breathe. We need to look back, not in anger and to review, where we have come from, in order to know where we are going. Staying in the moment is vital. Being present. These are the things that I am growing, planting like my garden. This is my opportunity to test the theory.
I’ve also realised that with my old friends, doesn’t matter how long I have known them, the more I get to know them the more I understand them, the more I like them.
I think this is true of me too. The more I come to accept and trust myself, the more comfortable I feel in my own skin. It takes time. It’s a very personal process, getting to know thyself. Becoming stronger within, holding to my own core, following my truth, digging deep. It’s not a job for the light hearted, it’s a mission for those that are not afraid to step where angels fear to tread! It’s worth it. Life is short, over in a blink of a spider’s eyes. There is much to be seen, much to be understood, much to be gained and it all comes from within. Based on our ability to process our own feelings and control our own thoughts, identify what is good, throw out all the old rubbish and regenerate.